Happiness is...

Is it a delicious, hot cup of  "I am scaring my friends and enjoying it", is it a heaped teaspoon of  "I am flying down a roller-coaster at 300Km/h and now my tongue is lodged in my oesophagus",  or even a warm bite of  "I've had a great day with my friends and still have a lot of holiday to look forward to".

Well, I'd say the last one is the most sure-fire way to happiness, after all, it's holiday!
And our friends are the very reason for happiness, what's the point in enjoying yourself unless you have someone else enjoying themselves with you?

This is my contribution for the day, I wish you all a great day/ night, now go out there and live life, you, yes YOU! Before I have to rip those crisps from your hand and cattle-prod you into the street, grab the phone and make a plan, you're worth it.

The best invention after the best invention (motorized forks) since sliced bread

Beat this! Motorized fork Lovers! Bacon Soap!

Astronomy: The planet Mercury

And now for the promised and not delivered astronomy. Seeing as there is nothing interesting happening as of current like a new supernova explosion or the discovery of an Earth-like planet, I will be giving a brief summary of a planet... Yay!

Mercury:

Mercury is the planet in the Solar-system that is closest to our sun. Of the eight currently recognised planets in our solar-system (RIP dear littlest Pluto) it is the smallest.
Mercury's year lasts 88 Earth days.
The planet is only visible in the twilight period at dawn and dusk, due to its angle in the sky caused by its proximity to the sun.
The name mercury comes from the Roman name for the Greek messenger god Hermes. The symbol for Mercury even comes from caduceus, the staff with two intertwined snakes on it.

To the left is the actual staff, and on the right is the symbol used for Mercury.

The temperature on Mercury is between about      -180°C to about 430°C, the range is so massive as the planet's atmosphere is extremely thin and therefore is not a very good insulator or storer of heat.


The first probe to ever get a close up examination of Mercury was the Mariner 10, this probe used Venus's gravity to reach Mercury.

For more information, Here is the wikipedia link to Mercury

And here is a little picture of the planet:

I will so survive and so will you...

In life, we all have those troubles, the unfair trial and punishments, the gut-wrenchingly long waits until we can get that which makes us happy, the massive load of work or say... biology studying sitting in front of you that refuses to write itself out...

But at the same, we are all still here (or I presume you are if you are reading this), so how come? Well, we all have our coping methods, whether it be eating, friends or hitting our heads against walls until the lovely red elixir of life does cometh out in pools and pools, okay, hopefully not the last one, but you get the point.
Now these coping methods can sometimes be rather unhealthy and often they are just not enough, and that is where the second thing getting us through comes into play: The future.

You know that someday your punishment will be over, that that interminably long and hard wait will eventually terminate, that that massive load of work can be done. Were it not for the knowledge of the future, many would lose hope and crawl in a whole somewhere or just go completely and totally mental and start stealing peoples' shoes with no fear of repercussions...

So look forward my fellow Earthlings, the sky will still be there in the morning, no matter how grey there will still be a sliver of light. Every cloud has its silver lining, so go out there and find the silver lining on yours!

Time does not fly whilst studying...

I have tragic news for you all today: I have been studying my rear end off. Yes, I know, it is tragic to see such a free spirit like myself caged by the restraints studying and school-work. It is tragic to see one so involved in the outside world (yes I am! maybe...) locked inside, bound to a textbook written in an unrefined version of Dutch that I barely understand. No, it is not tragic that I am posting this onto the grand anonymous blob that is the internet... not at all.

To prove the uselessness of studying, or the fact that I am a pyromaniac...

Oh, and Chronic, no, your posts will appear in light blue because red looks really weird with this blog's colour scheme...

Slugs and snails and puppy dog nuclear pitch forks.

I would like to say that that last post was somewhat inspiring and looked liked Yoda and Juno decided to make love over an Excel Spread Sheet. But in other words I lack wisdom and probably male potato chips. In any case back to the reason I posted, I realize that I would like to say a few things about myself , being the co Admin but the lesser important one. anyway.

Here are the few things you should know about me : I'm a great noob detecter because I studied the language of noobish and I hate noobs. I dislike Mathematics and the gestation period that occurs in forks and knives. I enjoy unlimited amounts of Star Craft 2 and Sims 3. I don't care about your feelings because I'm wonderful that way. And I find all forms of Nuclear Fascim Illegal.

Here's an example of Noobish: OMw LOLOL haha u g0teh r€ad lmao Help Help Help teh b/0G lmaoL0l0l0!!!111!!!!!1!!!1!

Noobish Translated : You got to read the blog.

By the way my posts are red from now on ok!

~Chronic...

Wisdom...

Wisdom: that which you lack until just after you need it...

But what is wisdom? Is it doing what is right or doing what is intelligent? Is it avoiding getting into trouble or being able to get out of it? Is it knowing everything or knowing that you never will?

No. It's none of these, Wisdom is not spending time pondering wisdom and instead going and doing that which you are supposed to be doing at the time. Therefore I lack any wisdom what-so-ever.
The same is true of just about all philosophers, they have the time and often the wealth to be genuinely helpful, but instead they make quotable quotes on the exact nature of that which, in trying to achieve, they shall never gain.

So where am I going with this? I'll give you a hint, no, that would waste more time. Where I am going with this is that A: sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and do what you have to.
and B: For me that bullet has taken the shape of Textbook...
and C: I'm telling you to start doing whatever YOU should be doing, yes it is fun to read the blog of a random person in order to determine whether or not you are relatively sane compared to someone on the other side of the world who may or may not be a bipolar squirrel caretaker, but by the same token we almost all have work we SHOULD be doing. So get Going, and carry on reading this later...

But still come back and read later...
You may acquire more wisdom...

A cat's tale...

Recently, I have learned to appreciate something a little more , that something would be my black cat Samantha.

In the last two days, Samantha went missing. But here's a little background first:
She does often not stay with us for a night because she spends it on the roof, that kind of thing, but it is never more than one night, and we see her many times during the day, so we know she's still around.
One more thing, She is my cat in the sense that she lives almost solely in my room as opposed to the rest of my parent's house, and, on the night she went missing, I chased her out for killing a mouse in my room. In the past I've never done anything to scare her or chase her off.

It was Friday night that my parents said she was not coming in and that they couldn't find her, but as stated, this has happened before so no worries. Then on Saturday Morning she still hadn't been seen. By Saturday night she had now been gone an entire day, and she hadn't eaten either. Come Sunday morning, (today) there is a sense of panic, we cannot find our cat and we live next to a busy road and our neighbours have dogs.
After searching everywhere and being ready to go back inside, I see a dark shape moving against the cat ladder. I know I am in a mild panic and am short sighted, but I look again anyway...

Lo and behold: It is Samantha! After calling her and stroking her, I get her inside and the family feeds her straight away.

Thus endeth the story of how my very own pet was lost and then found.

motorised forks... WHAT?!

I have tragic news for you today, it seems that the world is readily approaching its maximum level of extremely stupid items. These novelties have been going on for ages, but I think we are getting to the point where this nonsense cannot continue to go much further. And this is why...

Today, I present you with...
The motorised spaghetti twirling fork! This product is by Hog wild and is actually purchasable off of amazon, I warn you, you may not be able to stand the "more satisfying bites and 100% twirling fun".
I warned you...

So ask the world now, what could possibly next to topple this invention off of its throne of redundancy and flying spaghetti strips?

GIMP and how it can save you too...

Hmm, you think to yourself, I want to perform an image manipulation related task, for example, making a header for my blog (hypothetical scenario here...) but I don't want to have to pay for photoshop. Well, do not fear as there are many alternatives, including GIMP.

Currently, I am using GIMP 2.6.8 and I can honestly say that it is one of the best free products you will ever find. While most people are too lazy to make an image themselves or don't feel they need it, some just worry that it'll look like crap, but once again, don't worry, GIMP is super easy to use... so you can easily fix your screw ups wherever they may be.

While at this point you are probably imagining me sounding like a constipated telemarketer, just listen to this: try it, it's free, and the download is small. If you hate it with a burning passion and wish to sacrifice it to your neighbours computer virus riddled flash drive, so be it, but it give it a try.

Oh yes, and enjoy the insanity quotes on the top right hand side of the page, under the intro, I swear I am not using them to justify my current mental state...

This little doggy can be the computer using man's best friend...

South Africa...

For those of you who are weirdly interested in my life (internet stalkers, I'm looking at you...) I will tell you this, I live in the country South Africa. If you live in the Northern hemisphere, you probably know South Africa as that place with the damn vuvuzelas...

Damn noisy things...

But there's a little more to us than THAT, oh, wait, you probably also remember all our politicians with their tendencies...

But the place is not ALL bad, we provide the world with comic entertainment, and for the last 100 years we have only had two leaders who have not been viciously mocked through cartoons... We provide the caricaturists with excellent source material...

And despite all the bad, I like it here, we have great vibe and constant sirens keep one well alert and ready for the next day. Thank-you and good day, I must now barricade the windows and make sure that the cats are armed, ammunition for cat-paw sized glocks doesn't come cheap these days...

A funny story for you...

We all love our humour, especially when it involves some else's pain. But sometimes, life is just so cruel, so tragically hilarious, that inspires some one to write a joke very loosely based on their own experience... Take it away... Joe somebody:

The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit.’ He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit.’
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see…. size 44 long.’
Joe laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’
‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’
Joe thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman eyed Joe and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.
Joe was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’
‘Been in the business 60 years.’
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,
‘How about some new underwear?’
Joe thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… size 36.
Joe laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’
The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’

New suit – $400
New shirt – $36
New underwear – $6
Second Opinion – PRICELESS

Gyming and you...

Now, gyming, despite being hated by the spell-checker, is a word we are all familiar with. But how many of us actually go? Is it enough? Do those among us who need it actually go? Or is it just those who want another set of tendons to be as thick as lead piping?

You see, the thing about gym is it's your choice, you don't have to follow some sergeant's drill or an instructor, you can take it at your own pace. And there-in lies the problem and the solution in one.

For those of us who need to get off our rears, there is the knowledge that you don't have to push yourself too hard, just enough that work off the calories needed. For those other's among us who don't break a sweat under their instructor's guidance and can lift a small cow, you know that you can still push yourself to the point where progress is made. But you have to make the choice to do enough.

Now get out there and work yourself into a better healthier person, a good start would be to stop reading, turn off the pc and go sign up at your local gym, because EVERYONE is scared of dying in front of their computer from a heart attack and being forever known as "that guy who died in front of his computer while eating cheese puffs".

Partners in Crime

I, the godfather of this blog, am accepting a new leader, the balance of power shall be kept even (admin privelages for both people tend to do that) and we shall rule with an iron fist.

His name is Chronic and here is here to add to this blog, if you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me, if you have a problem with me, then you have a very dangerous problem indeed.

Enjoy his contributions, watch out for his sig and enjoy your day, or make sure your cat enjoys its day, either works really.

Hello I'm awesome....

Well I'm awesome but my name is....(dramatic WW2 music) Chronic... Da da daaaaaa. And I'm here to rid the world of evil and male menopause. Just kidding I'm here to post randomly like a madman breathing in dangerous unicycle fumes that are called user friendly. Enjoy my posts infidels!


Chronic

Insanity: Is it a choice?

Welcome, welcome, to clinically insane. I trust that by the time I'm dead, at least two people will read this and possibly have used it against me to win a court case, so it's still worth typing (If one of you two happens to be the legal type).


I have begun this blog in order to just say a word here and there and because my hand-writing looks like what would happen if ink-covered spiders had a bar fight on the pages of an old diary.


First off: If you are actually taking the time to read this (not likely, but possible), then thank-you very much, You will receive four free foot massages from my next life self. 
Second: Yes, I am indeed insane, just ask the cat (whose not bad at conversation, although I don't agree with my cat's political views).
Third: Life is short and no time should be wasted: If you can leave a legacy somewhere as opposed to just sleeping the spare time away, you've made some progress, even if all you have done is entertained an audience of 10 people a few times a week, you've done something with your time that would otherwise be wasted in an even worse manner. 


And finally: If you have something to say, do comment, but please refrain from swearing to kingdom come, we have little asterisks **** for a reason.